Recently, I was reminded that things happen in their own time. Even though we may want something to happen sooner, most everything has its own process.
Take healing for example. If I stub my toe, the pain may take only a few seconds for it to go away. If I nick my finger with a knife, however, there is more involved in the process of healing.
The cut may run a few layers deep into the skin and need a day to a week for complete healing. There’s also extra items needed to heal a cut compared to stubbing my toe. I may need some Neosporin, a bandage, and stitches if the cut went deep enough to warrant a trip to the hospital.
The two processes are very different and so God has set our bodies up to heal each within a certain amount of time. One takes considerable less time compared to the other.
In regards to emotional healing, we each have our own timing that we heal from things we’ve experienced. If you’ve been through a divorce, then you may feel it is right for you to go out right away and meet new people. Perhaps you feel you are not ready and want to wait.
In my own timing, I went out right away until I decided that I was going to wait on God. When I went out looking, I realized that I was trying to force God’s hand to bring me someone when truly I was not ready.
When I was with a very dear man to me, God used that time to teach me a lot about myself and what I wanted. Without knowing what I wanted, it was like I was riding on the waves of the ocean, being tossed about and nearly drowning a couple of times. Not a very nice experience.
I also had not given myself time to heal. When we are clinging to others for our self confidence and support, we cannot be our true selves. That was where I found myself until I realized that I was better off without someone than to reduce my natural self for someone else.
When I kept myself, what shone the brightest about myself, in a box, I made myself into the person this man wanted me to be and it wasn’t fully me.
When God showed me what it would be like if I chose to remain with this man, I didn’t listen. I was caught up in my ego of trying to force the vision of a family and love that I wanted so much.
Things do work out in their own timing. With the recent move back to the local area close to where I grew up, I attended a writer’s meeting. At the meeting were a mother-daughter team who were teaching us about writing and publishing first person narrative stories.
I was captivated by what I was learning and from the stories they told through their writing.
The mother, Marion Bond West, read a little bit from a story she wrote titled, “Who Falls In Love With A Fence?” from a 1991 issue of Guideposts. In the meeting, she explained the backstory behind this writing piece. She said that it has been about four years since her husband died from brain cancer. She was lonely and wanted to know if she needed to be by herself for the rest of her life or start dating again.
She didn’t want to end up bitter, she said in the story. She said that God told her that she would meet the right one through her writing for Guideposts. After they published a writing of hers on depression, she had numerous replies coming in. She went out on dates, but there was one man whose responses were very different from the rest and she could feel it. When they dated, he matched what she wanted in a man and so much more.
In one of her stories, “A Life-Changing Love,” she mentioned what she wanted and that she wanted to be married to a minister. The man she married is a minister and a lot more.
I had struggled with believing God’s vision for so long. Hearing Marion speak about how God showed her what He had planned, gave me confirmation for my own vision.
Not only that, but I realized that during the time I was waiting, I already had what I was seeking… a family and love. Finding out how to support myself has been an adventure and self-revealing in the process.
It’s during this time that we are alone, we learn more about our strengths than we ever have before. We adapt, we lead, we love and build family around us.
When I visited with a friend, I told her about my vision. Then she said that she had one too before she met her husband. She said that she was seeing someone at the time, but God told her that the one she sought would enter her life within four months.
Sure enough a few months later, her now husband entered her life. My mom recalls that time when she asked her, “Lori, are you sure he’s the right one? He could be an ax murderer.”
Lori said, “nope. I just know he was the right one.”
God’s confirmations of being on the right path may come everyday, every other day, and sometimes months in between. Just like in Gordon D’Angelo’s book, Vision, when we share our vision with others we get sometimes unexpected confirmations when we need them the most.
What vision are you wanting confirmed today?