If you’ve gone through negative, traumatic events, it can be a struggle to get back out there around people. You may have the desire to do things like join a new church, go to a sports game, or event catch up with old friends.
But, you don’t because you’re on your own and you don’t know if you’ll be accepted or not.
If you’re worried about whether or not you’ll be accepted, it’s time to learn that it’s a) all in your head… and b) there’s a way to overcome that fear.
For starters, worrying about being accepted or not is only going to increase your worry, not make it disappear.
Whatever you put your focus on is what increases for you.
If you put your focus on making money, you’ll find opportunities to make it all around you. It can even get overwhelming sometimes!
But, in the same truth, if you’re putting your focus on worrying about whether or not others will accept you, that’s all you’ll be wondering about in your head. You’ll wonder about it constantly and it will truly affect your ability to really connect with other people.
The next time you get an invitation to go somewhere or have the desire to go for a walk in the park or take up a new hobby, just decide to do it and go do it.
Don’t worry about what others think of you. As you try and learn, you’ll soon be mastering whatever it is that you intend to do. That will make your confidence soar and you’ll no longer worry about what other people think or even if they accept you or not.
See It From a Different Angle
In all likelihood, they are going to accept you. Most adults that are working in an environment where they are teachers and role models for others are going to accept you and even be grateful you are there! You’re helping them by engaging in their services. The relationship becomes a two-way street where they want to help you succeed and you want to learn.
See wherever you are going to from this angle and how the person you are around will be grateful for you as well as you, in turn are grateful for what they do for you.
The Reason for Your Worry Stems from the Root Cause
There’s usually a reason behind your worry that has nothing to do with what you want to do. It’s usually a root cause of the traumatic event or negative event that has lodged its memory inside your mind and produced this negative pattern you currently find yourself in with the worry. There’s an unresolved issue inside your mind that you’re about to discover and resolve.
Imagine that. You’ll finally get over that fear of being around people because you feel like they won’t accept you. As you go into the story and dislodge whatever is there that is stuck, you’ll feel so much better!
- Next time you feel like you’re worried about whether or not you’ll be accepted, get out your journal and write down what you see, feel, hear, and know. As you listen to the worrisome thoughts, you will begin to see flashes of past events in your mind. You’ll hear voices talking and immediately recognize the situation and instance where that event occurred. You may even remember how you felt at that time and watch the entire timeline take place upon the inner screen in your mind’s eye.
The reason why this happens is because your brain has not yet resolved these events. There was something for you to learn there that you’ve dismissed. Your brain is bringing it back up for you because it wants you to resolve it. It’s saying, “here’s why you’re so worried about being accepted… it has to do with this event… you have to resolve this first and then you’ll be okay to go out there and do what you want to do.”
So, now we’re going to break down this thing you keep experiencing and resolve it.
- After you write down what you see, feel, hear, and know from the scene, ask yourself these questions:
- What was there to learn here?
- Why did I react the way I did?
- What did I believe at the time? Do I see it differently now?
- What did other people’s actions tell me?
- What did I feel or sense from other people’s actions and/or words?
- Did that influence what reaction I had?
- Was it true?
- Do I accept this situation as it is?
- Do I feel like this is resolved and I can move on for now?
You’ll probably notice a shift in your energy after answering those questions. When you get the learning and the why and what behind the event, you’ll feel better and notice that the event is resolved for you for now. It may come up in a different form at a later date, but you may also find that it is completely resolved and you have no further issues around the situation.
Get Motivated to Get Out There
Now, let me ask you this:
How motivated are you to get out there and do what you wanted to do?
On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being not motivated at all and 10 being you’re motivated to get out there, rate how you feel right now after completing steps 1 and 2.
If you aren’t at a 10 yet, there’s some more issues around what you are feeling about whether or not you’ll be accepted. Try going back through the steps to find any additional events that come up for you and clear them out.